Can you tell what compassion looks like? According to research, yes. Our EQ course automatically helps build compassion because you meditate.

What Compassion Looks Like was a post I found at mindful.org.

Can you tell who is compassionate just by looking at them?

According to research, yes.

Imagine this: you walk into the laboratory, and are a shown a series of 20-second video clips. In each clip, a different person is shown listening to another person. You can’t hear what the speaker is saying; there is no sound to the clip. But you’re told that the speaker is talking about a time when they suffered. The researchers ask you to rate how compassionate the listener is, just by what you can see: his or her body language and facial expressions.

This study was conducted by psychologists at the University of California, Berkeley, who found that people agreed on who was a compassionate listener. The participants all seemed to rely on the same cues to assess compassion: more open body language, eye contact, head nods, and smiling. I was excited to see this finding because I teach compassionate listening as a skill in the Stanford Compassion Training. Students in the training learn to deliberately do exactly what the participants in this study were using to assess compassion.

1) The first step is what I call “listening with the whole body.” This means literally tuning in to the person who is speaking. “Compassionate” body language includes: Turning toward the speaker, not just with your head, but positioning your whole body to face the speaker. Open body language, such as arms and legs not crossed (and certainly no distractions, like a cell phone, in your hands!). “Approach” signals, such as learning toward, not leaning back from the speaker. This counters our usual instinct to “avoid” or withdraw from suffering, even at the subtle level of body language. In previous studies, people who felt high levels of compassion spontaneously shifted into this posture. But in my experience, just assuming this body language makes it easier to make a compassionate connection with someone.

2) The next step is what I call “soft eye contact.” When it comes to listening, eye contact is usually better than avoiding eye contact. But the most supportive and comfortable eye contact isn’t gazing deeply into a person’s eyes, or staring them down without a break in eye contact. Instead, it’s a soft focus on the triangle created by a person’s eyes and mouth. This allows you to take in the speaker’s full facial expressions. It also includes occasional breaks in eye contact to reduce what can be an uncomfortable intensity.

3) The last step is to offer “connecting gestures.” These gestures let a person know that you are feeling connected to what they are saying. The most appropriate connecting gestures are smiles and head nods, without interrupting the speaker. Connecting gestures encourage a speaker to continue, and often feel more supportive than when the listener jumps in verbally to make comments. When appropriate, touch is an even more powerful connecting gesture. Previous research has shown that people can more easily recognize compassion through touch—such as a comforting hand on your shoulder—than through voice or facial expressions.

These three steps are simple—listen with the whole body; make soft eye contact with the intention of really seeing the speaker; and offer connecting gestures without interrupting the speaker to share your own comments or stories. Simple—but not always easy to do when we’re distracted, busy, or stressed out ourselves. This approach to compassionate listening can be a tremendous gift to the person who is talking, and to ourselves. It helps us stay grounded in the present moment, and more fully receive the gift of another person sharing his or her experience with us.

This practice is also a good reminder that we don’t need to wait for compassion to spontaneously arise. When we have the intention to experience and offer compassion, we can make choices—even small ones, like how we make eye contact—that can lead to both the authentic experience of compassion.


I was fortunate enough to have started Tai Chi a moving meditation at a very early age. Practising Tai Chi for over 25 years has allowed me to build a solid foundation to support the most important aspect of EQ development, which is attention training.

If you are interested in supporting yourself or helping the teams you manage, the links below can help you learn more about EQ training.

  1. What is EQ?
  2. Emotional Intelligence Training Course
  3. Learn to meditate with the Just6 App
  4. Meditation and the Science
  5. 7 reasons that emotional intelligence is quickly becoming one of the top sought job skills
  6. The secret to a high salary Emotional intelligence
  7. How to bring mindfulness into your employee wellness program
  8. Google ’Search Inside Yourself’

Emotions are involved in every thought, every decision we make – emotions have the ability to control us. With a mindfulness practice you can improve your EQ. Emotional intelligence EQ over IQ why EQ is more valuable. See our EQ course.

Emotions are involved in every thought, every decision we make – emotions have the ability to control us if they feel a threat or an emergency.

Emotional Intelligence is twice as important as IQ and technical skills combined.

However in schools throughout the world in the last decade it has been found that IQ is constantly rising and the EQ is consistently decreasing. There is the mistaken perception that children need technical skills to succeed.

Parents in general have bought this lie and left parenting to the schools and have declined to interact with their children because of the emphasis on skills. But lets not blame the parents as we have all been schooled in a system that has lied to us about the results that we will get from it.

Do you understand what I am telling you here? The 40 Year Plan has not worked – no wonder the youth look at this and wonder why they should respect us for being so shortsighted. What example have we being giving our children – perhaps it is not one that demands the respect that previous generations expected from us.

Previous generations spent more time with parents and in interaction than the current generation.

The good news is that ‘Skills for life are teachable’ and you can learn them at any point in your life!

These skills are:

  1. Self Awareness -this is your moral compass, knowing your feelings and why you feel the way you do.
  2. Managing your emotions – Every emotion has a reason. Handling your distressing emotions in an effective way so that they don’t cripple you.
  3. Motivation
  4. Empathy – Knowing what someone else is feeling and how they feel about what is happening.
  5. Social Skills – relationship management.

Oh incidentally Woman are better at empathy and Men are better at motivation.

The best way to manage any situation effectively is to listen.

The best personal brands are emotionally intelligent and they make others want to deal with them and the organisation they represent.

Life is about connections in a world where we are looking for connections, especially with family and our handpicked friends.

Emotional intelligence is about facing your fears – most people run from their fears, but we find the happiest people are the most fufilled because they run towards their fears.

I want to give you a little lesson in love … When we say that we love someone we often use it very loosely, but in reality those we truly love are the people we want to see grow – if we do not want to see that person grow we do not love them. If we did not love our children we would not want to see them improve and grow.

We need to be introspective of our lives and look at those we spend time with and ask ourselves if we truly love them or not … my challenge to you is only spend time with those who you truly love, because more often than not it is those who love us dearly.

We need to be grateful for those friends who are fearless enough to criticise us and remember that every moment spent with another human is your moment that enables you to express your humanity.

So lets look at what it takes to be emotionally intelligent again:

  • Motivated
  • Focused
  • Adaptable
  • Self Aware
  • Interpersonal Abilities

Your intention becomes authentic when you are self-aware.

Emotional self control means staying calm under pressure, and listening well and deeply (having empathy) and seeking first to understand before needing to be understood.

Emotional Intelligence is basically three distinct sections:

  1. Self Awareness
  2. Empathy
  3. Relationship Management

Emotional Intelligence is most important in two fields of life – education and healthcare. The most important aspect of life and relationships is trust. How do we build trust?

This illustration known as the Johari window helps clarify the way we perceive ourselves.

JOHARI WINDOW

JOHARI WINDOW

———–> Your sub-conscious is 90% of who you are.

Blindspot diminishes and Facade drops when trust is formed and it opens the door to the unknown you – the part of you where creativity and spontaneity exists in abundance.

You need to feel safe to be spontaneous and creative.

Their are so many similarities between good teaching and good healing and they are all based within our neo-cortex area of the brain.

The brain is made up of three main parts when it comes to emotional intelligence.

NEO CORTEX (Thinking Brain)

LIMBIC SYSTEM (Emotional Brain)

BRAIN STEM (Survival Brain)

That which we give attention to grows.

We need to get over the old heirachy notion, the old structure – the thinking that I know everything and that others (especially the children) know nothing.

We have believed in the anarchy model for too long, we need to trust the social structure that we were made for – we were made to live in community and that community structure even in the simplest form is self-monitoring and that forms a safe haven of trust around us.

We don’t need laws to govern us, we are intrinsically good not bad and that enables us to have mutual respect and empathy for others.

Before we get into some of the more practical steps I would like to explain the difference between Emotional and Social Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is self mastery, excellence due to your self efforts.

Social Intelligence is leadership, through influencing, persuading, developing, growing, inspiring and motivating people.

So it can be said that all people once they have acquired the necessary emotional intelligence skills should actually be involved in social intelligence.

Why is EQ Important?

  • Your performance at work
  • Your physical health
  • Your mental health
  • Your relationships

How do we raise our EQ? You can practice the following skills and within a few weeks you would of found that you have raised your emotional intelligence.

Skill 1

  • Rapidly reduce stress
  • Realise you are stressed
  • Identify your stress response
  • Discover your stress bust technique

Skill 2

  • Emotional Awareness
  • Do you experience feelings that flow
  • Emotions accompanied with physical sensations you experience.
  • Do you experience discreet feelings and emotions?
  • Can you experience intense emotions?
  • Can you experience intense feelings?
  • Do you pay attention to your emotions?

Skill 3

  • Non verbal communication
  • Focus / Zone-in on the other person
  • Make eye contact
  • Pay attention to nonverbal clues

Skill 4

  • Use humor and play to deal with challenges
  • Take hardships in your stride
  • Smooth over differences
  • Simultaneously relax and energise yourself
  • Become more creative
  • Embrace your playful nature
  • Set aside time
  • Practice playing – children, animals and other outgoing people

Skill 5

  • Resolve conflict positively
  • Stay focused on the present
  • Chose your arguments
  • Forgive
  • End conflicts that can’t be resolved

GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO BE RIGHT

One of the biggest ways to increase your emotional intelligence is to forgive yourself.


I was fortunate enough to have started Tai Chi a moving meditation at a very early age. Practising Tai Chi for over 25 years has allowed me to build a solid foundation to support the most important aspect of EQ development, which is attention training.

If you are interested in supporting yourself or helping the teams you manage, the links below can help you learn more about EQ training.

  1. What is EQ?
  2. Emotional Intelligence Training Course
  3. Learn to meditate with the Just6 App
  4. Meditation and the Science
  5. 7 reasons that emotional intelligence is quickly becoming one of the top sought job skills
  6. The secret to a high salary Emotional intelligence
  7. How to bring mindfulness into your employee wellness program
  8. Google ’Search Inside Yourself’

Emotional intelligence as a leadership predictor. Emotional Intelligence is trainable, even in adults. Learn EQ with a mindfulness meditation course. EQ is twice as important as IQ plus you earn a higher salary.

Emotional Intelligence as a Leadership Predictor was a great post from Rita Balian Allen Executive Coach and Career Development Consultant Everyone is familiar with the term ‘intelligence quotient’ or IQ as a measure of intelligence. However, is it the best predictor of success especially as a leader? There is another level of intelligence that is viewed equally, if not more importantly, as a measure of potential leadership success and ultimately organisational performance…and that is emotional intelligence or EQ.

Emotional intelligence is our ability to identify and manage our own emotions as well as recognise that of others and groups. It requires effective communication between the rational and emotive centres of our brain – it represents the path between feeling and reason. The brain science surrounding EQ is quite powerful and compelling. As reported by Daniel Goleman in his book, “Primal Leadership, Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence”, the four skills that together make up Emotional Intelligence include; self awareness and self management, which are about personal competence; and social awareness and relationship management, which are about social competence. Goleman states “Gifted leadership occurs where heart and head – feeling and thought – meet.” Studies have found:

  • EQ is a required competency for effective leaders
  • EQ is the #1 predictor of professional success & personal excellence
  • EQ affects organisational profitability and performance

Our perceptions can differ from person to person and these perceptions influence our thoughts as well as impact our decisions. How aware are we of what we see, think and feel? Do we practice empathy to understand what others see, think and feel therefore identifying similarities as well as differences? Not only understanding but embracing these differences. Ultimately, how well do we see and understand the impact of our thoughts on others and take into consideration others thoughts and needs?

We all have beliefs, biases and assumptions that can interfere with our rational thinking at times and cause us to overreact to situations. How well do we know what they are and are we able to contain or manage them appropriately? In order to manage our emotions effectively, we have to identify them, be able to assess them accurately, understand the root cause, and ultimately control them appropriately.

Knowing what the triggers are that drive our emotions as well as understanding triggers of those around us can truly heighten our ability to communicate more effectively. Conflict is inevitable and actually a positive because it usually leads to progress when handled well. Being able to read the people dynamics, assess the needs involved and manage the situation effectively requires high EQ levels.

“A leader’s intelligence has to have a strong emotional component. He/she has to have high levels of self-awareness, maturity and self-control. He/she must be able to withstand the heat, handle setbacks and when those lucky moments arise, enjoy success with equal part of joy and humility. No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.” ~Jack Welch, Former Chairman of General Electric speaking to WSJ Leadership begins and ends with inner strength requiring the ability to understand ourselves very well while consistently learning, growing and developing.

In addition to enhancing self awareness, strong leaders are adaptable to their surroundings, transparent, exhibit positive energy and practice emotional self-control. Effective leaders are empathetic, service-oriented and organizationally aware of their surroundings, reading people and cues well. Lastly, they are relationship builders, inspiring others, influencing effectively, coaches, people developers, team collaborators and able to manage conflict as well as change.

All of these are dimensions of emotional intelligence. There are a number of compelling findings included in Goleman’s book. According to the Center for Creative Leadership, the three most significant causes of career derailment for executives involve deficits in emotional competence:

  1. Difficulty handling change
  2. Inability to work well in a team; and
  3. Poor interpersonal relations.

According to Tony Simons, Harvard Business Review, the more associates feel trust in their bosses, an emotional response, the higher the profits for the organization. In one study, a 18 point improvement on a survey of employees’ perceptions of how much managers earned their confidence increased profitability by 2.5%.

That increase in profitability meant a quarter million dollar profit increase per business unit per year. The business case is strong for building emotionally intelligent leaders for positive impact on profitability and performance. Leaders are life-long learners always looking to further develop their knowledge and skills. In fact, there are a number of assessments that help us to determine our level of emotional intelligence allowing us to identify elements of strength as well as areas for improvement including the highly regarded BAR-ON EQ-i self assessment and 360 tool.

There are also several resources available on this topic including the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. Developing our EQ will be an on-going effort requiring us to push out of our comfort zone. Here are some tips to help build our EQ as we continue to build our leadership capabilities:

  • Learn what your triggers are and how they impact your emotions
  • Ask for feedback from others often and openly
  • Be an active listener, step back and look at things objectively
  • Practice deep breathing, relax body, keep a clear mind
  • Focus on other people’s perspectives and show interest in others
  • Take time to learn the norms of the organisational culture
  • Carefully read the dynamics of each situation, the people and your surroundings
  • Nurture relationships; acknowledge others’ needs and feelings
  • Manage expectations appropriately
  • Welcome the difficult conversations and give direct, constructive feedback

Building emotional intelligence is not only a strong predictor of effective leadership but can contribute to greater productivity, performance and ultimately profitability for all. What level of EQ do you and your leaders possess? Invest in developing your staff and your leadership potential at all levels of your organization. Remember, individuals do not have to be in a leadership role to be a leader. Unleash leadership skills in all!


I was fortunate enough to have started Tai Chi a moving meditation at a very early age. Practising Tai Chi for over 25 years has allowed me to build a solid foundation to support the most important aspect of EQ development, which is attention training.

If you are interested in supporting yourself or helping the teams you manage, the links below can help you learn more about EQ training.

  1. What is EQ?
  2. Emotional Intelligence Training Course
  3. Learn to meditate with the Just6 App
  4. Meditation and the Science
  5. 7 reasons that emotional intelligence is quickly becoming one of the top sought job skills
  6. The secret to a high salary Emotional intelligence
  7. How to bring mindfulness into your employee wellness program
  8. Google ’Search Inside Yourself’

Just 6 seconds meditation app used everyday can over time deeply and effectively enhance your attention training. Improve emotional intelligence with meditation.

breath

Just 6 seconds of mindfulness can make a big difference in supporting your mindfulness meditation practice.

Just 6 meditation app is being developed for the students of the justbeing.life mindfulness meditation course.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is your ability to recognise and understand emotions in yourself and others. The ability to use this awareness to manage your behaviour and relationships more effectively.

Businesses are experiencing the benefits of improving emotional intelligence in the workplace. Research now points to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous results. Emotional intelligence has a direct link to your earning potential.

Attention is the basis of all higher cognitive and emotional abilities. Thus the key to emotional intelligence training is ATTENTION. The idea is to create a quality of mind that is clear and calm at the same time. We use mindfulness meditation techniques to build attention so students become more emotionally intelligent.

Just 6 seconds of mindfulness everyday can over time deeply and effectively enhance your attention training. This APP was developed to encourage and develop the students mindfulness practice. We are in the process of building the app that gives students a notification to STOP, PAUSE, Bring awareness to your breath point, BREATH IN – BREATH OUT and then continue with your day. You will have the ability to set how many notifications you want throughout the day.

It’s a work in progress so feedback and thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

LOGIN SCREEN

Just Being Just 6 seconds of mindfulness will make a difference

INITIAL TUTORIAL AND SETUP

Just Being Just 6 seconds of mindfulness will make a difference
Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app begin tutorial to find breath point
Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app your breath point
Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app find your breath point

FOLLOW SHAPE BREATH IN AND OUT

Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app follow your breath IN
Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app follow your breath OUT

FINALLY SETUP THE NOTIFICATIONS

WHEN YOU RECEIVE A NOTIFICATION

Launch the app. Find your breath point. Click ‘begin’. Follow the image as it expands. BREATH IN as image expands. BREATH OUT as the image contracts. Continue if you want else click ‘end’ to record your JUST 6

Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app follow your breath
Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app follow your breath
Just Being Just 6 mindfulness app follow your breath

I was fortunate enough to have started Tai Chi a moving meditation at a very early age. Practising Tai Chi for over 25 years has allowed me to build a solid foundation to support the most important aspect of EQ development, which is attention training.

If you are interested in supporting yourself or helping the teams you manage, the links below can help you learn more about EQ training.

  1. What is EQ?
  2. Emotional Intelligence Training Course
  3. Learn to meditate with the Just6 App
  4. Meditation and the Science
  5. 7 reasons that emotional intelligence is quickly becoming one of the top sought job skills
  6. The secret to a high salary Emotional intelligence
  7. How to bring mindfulness into your employee wellness program
  8. Google ’Search Inside Yourself’